What makes a woman beautiful in God's eyes? If your primary sources were women's magazines or even marriage self-help manuals, you might get the impression that a woman's beauty is based on her outer appearance or even her ability to be charming and confident. God, however, has a different standard. According to 1 Peter 3, God is impressed with a woman's ability to be gentle and submissive. In other words, God values a woman's ability to demonstrate respect for him and her husband. To be a godly wife, a woman must go to God and his Word for instruction in her marriage. Now that you know what your standard should be, it's time to examine yourself. Are you being the beautiful wife God wants you to be?

Are you committed or careless?

Do you remember your wedding day? In the midst of all the guests, flowers, and fanfare, you made life-long vows. You promised before God and many witnesses to love your husband until "death do you part." Ecclesiastes 5:4-7 points out the importance of taking any vow you make before God very seriously. When you make vows in the presence of God, it is a grave sin to go back on your word when times become challenging.

Undoubtedly, there will be difficult times. Things may happen in your marriage that you never expected. It's almost impossible for two people to live together for any length of time without any conflicts, emotional struggles, even betrayals. If your marriage is built on the solid foundation of God's Word, however, you can get through the hard times. Take a look at Matthew 7:24-27. The foolish builder does not prepare for the storm. When the rains come, his house falls. On the other hand, a wise builder knows that storms are part of the natural order of things. He makes sure that his home has a firm base to withstand ominous weather. When you said your vows, you made a commitment to God and your husband "for better or worse." Sometimes, when the "worse" part comes into our lives, our instincts tempt us to run or hide, but that's not God's plan. God wants us to use the tools he's given us to keep our marriages strong. In God's eyes, there is no such thing as "irreconcilable differences." Anything can be forgiven. True love perseveres and endures.

One of the tools God has given you to remain strong in your marriage is the power of prayer. You have to remember that Satan is a thief. He knows that if he can cause division in your marriage, he can cause division in the church. Satan is no match for God though. When you pray, you are using the most effective ammunition you have against Satan. When you are tempted to argue with your husband, be unforgiving, or hold onto a negative attitude, you must remember that you are in a spiritual battle. God has given you everything you need to hold onto your marriage. All you must do is hold onto his Word.

Are you a help or a hindrance?

In story of creation found in Genesis, we see that God made Eve as a "helper" for Adam because it was not good for him to be alone. When you look at your daily interaction with your husband, can you honestly say that you are helping him? Have you been harsh with him? Do you judge him? Are you rarely satisfied with the things he does? Do you make an effort to mention the things he does that please you? These are good questions to ask yourself regularly.

One of the ways you can truly help your husband is by always demonstrating an attitude of gratitude. There are a few practical ways to do this. First, continuously focus on the positive. While there may be times when you need to bring problems to your husband's attention, do your very best to make those times rare compared to the moments when you say thank you or give him a compliment. If you really need to "talk things out", remember you do have sisters in Christ that you can share with first. Men and women think and communicate differently. Bombarding your husband with concerns and complaints can cause unneeded tension in your marriage.

Are you happy or heartless?

Your disposition has an awful lot to do with how people perceive you--especially people who, like your husband, see you often. If you do not work to have a cheerful heart, you can create an environment around you that disheartens others and causes your depression to grow. Jesus gave his disciples some good advice about finding happiness in the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12). In this Scripture, the synonym for "blessed" is "happy." Jesus was reminding his followers that happiness did not come from their circumstances or the perceptions of others. Instead, happiness comes from a relationship with God, faith, and a hope in heaven. Since the Word of God is living and active, we know that Jesus wasn't just giving this instruction to the crowd he was speaking to at the time but us as well. When you are down, it's time to go to God in prayer and pour your heart out to him.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...

Aretha Franklin sang about it, but Christian wives are expected to exemplify it. True respect begins with a reverence for God, his Word, and the vows you made to him. If you have a heart that is committed to obey God at all costs, you will practice what you preach. God, the creator of all things, can transform your marriage and your life. God knows that through his power, you can be an incredible wife. He can't wait to show you how your marriage can be a fountain of love, comfort, joy, and strength.