Doug Baity is the lead evangelist of the Minneapolis Church of Christ. Doug and his wife, Suzanne, have led the church there for the past 4 years. Previous to that, they worked on the staff with the Berkeley/San Francisco church, and the Boston, Denver, and Omaha Churches of Christ. Doug and Suzanne have been married for 16 years and have two daughters, Lauren, age 15 and Laine, age 13. (This article appeared on the Seattle Church of Christ site in November, 2002.)

I was working at my computer on a recent afternoon when I received what was the happiest phone call of my life. "Daddy, I'm going to be baptized tomorrow!" It was the very happy and teary voice of my youngest daughter, Laine. She had been studying the Bible, struggling, fasting (from computer, TV, the internet, desserts and about everything else a teen could and stay healthy), and praying for several months.  As we talked, a lump rose up in my throat which would stay there almost permanently for the next few days. At her baptism her mother was eloquent and heart felt. I tried to be, but ended up more of a blubbering basket case. It was hard to express the wonder and joy I felt that my daughter was saved and my family united in Christ! My oldest daughter, Lauren, had been baptized on February 18, 2001. She is a loving and hard-working disciple. Seeing both of our children become Christians has been the fulfillment of a dream that Suzanne and I have had since the day they were born. God has been wonderful to us and certainly a "longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul!"

A turning point in Laine's becoming a Christian involved another phone call we received that was not nearly as pleasant. Laine had traveled to Seattle to attend a wedding and to spend time with some of our close friends. Stephanie Peacock, a Seattle teen leader, called to talk with us regarding a conversation she had with Laine. Laine had opened up with her about some issues in our family dynamics that had hurt her. She felt unresolved conflicts with her mother and felt like I had been too busy and had been neglectful of my relationship with her. She had tried in the past to express these things but felt like she couldn't make her voice heard. She was stuck spiritually. Stephanie in a loving way helped us understand that these feelings were blocking Laine from understanding the love of God and the true meaning of the cross. It was hard for her to understand God's love if she had unresolved feeling with her parents. We had been the voice of authority for her entire life and now we were unwittingly making it difficult for her to hear the Lord's voice. We were encouraged to have a "parent talk." A parent talk consists of the parents, the people in their lives who are helping to disciple them, the teen leaders and the teen all meeting together and being open about their family dynamics.

We asked Fritz and Colleen Ladwig and Kevin and Ann Wittinger to be a part of our parent talk. These two couples love our family, and we knew they would be honest with us and help us make needed changes. We also knew that Laine would feel safe with them. Brandle and Wendy Studevan, our teen leaders, led the talk. They are wise beyond their years and did a wonderful job leading the discussion. Laine courageously shared her deepest feelings with us. There were tears, confession and repentance. Suzanne and I took responsibility for what we needed to change and in the weeks afterward worked hard at changing. This helped Laine to be humble, take responsibility for her sin and to be able to understand the cross.

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.  For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." (Job 5:17,18)

When Laine called to say she was ready, she really was. The love of God had set her free from her sin!

When asked what helped our children to become Christians, the obvious answer is the amazing grace of God. That is the answer for all of us. Perhaps a couple of practicals that helped us can help others:

• Make your family a priority. For all of the mistakes we've made, this principle we managed to keep on straight. Nothing can replace time spent with your children. Be hands-on parents. We have spent hours coaching, driving, helping, and tending to the needs of our children. Most days we have quiet times together, breakfast together and take time to catch up with what went on in each other's lives. We are at home most evenings and make ourselves available to help them with their homework and to transport them to their various activities.

• Our children view the church as an extended family. The kingdom is full of loving and amazing people. If we will draw people into our family who can be close to our children, their view of the kingdom will be that it is a wonderful place full of loving family. These relationships will help them in finding the heart and courage to choose the kingdom instead of the world. We are profoundly grateful for the people who have helped our kids when they were facing difficult challenges. It would be impossible to overstate our feelings of appreciation!

• Be appreciative and humble with the people who are willing to be honest and truthful with you. I remember when we first moved to Boston how I felt when someone actually had the audacity to say that our sweet, precious little one year old was a little spoiled and out of control! I remember exactly how that felt-painful! That only lasted for a little while though, and then it gave way to a sense of security and peace as we began to make needed changes. I am so grateful for the Brumleys, Snyders, Ladwigs, Marutzkys, Studevans, Peacocks, and many others who have lovingly steered us in the right direction.

• Get lots of advice. The challenge in raising children is very great. It requires much counsel! Do yourself a very large favor-get lots of it! Over the years, I have found that couples willing to be as straightforward as the couples I mentioned earlier are somewhat rare. Most of the time people have been a little intimidated to be so blunt with us. We have found that if we are going to understand what we need to change we have to ask people and keep on asking until we are confident that we are hearing the truth. It is not enough to be willing to hear the truth, we must have the kind of eagerness which will cause us to go and eagerly seek it. Wise counselors are an unbelievable blessing. Don't miss on this one. The payment for this mistake is very steep.

• Finally, relax, have fun, and trust God. He definitely has it all under control!