My husband and I have been married for almost a year and a half now - it's been wonderful! One thing we're happy about is that we rarely have arguments and have never raised our voices at each other. Friends laugh and say that we don't have "bumps" but rather "bubbles". This doesn't mean we never clash; I think it has more to do with how the tension is handled. Respect and curiosity for the other's reasoning is so important...seeking to understand even when you feel strongly about your position can be difficult, but it's not impossible.  One valuable lesson I learned (from Dr. Phil, his "fighing fair" tactics) is that we often get into arguments because we're afraid to say what's really on our minds. Say a husband has come home late three nights in a row and the wife is feeling insecure. She might go through 20 questions (such as, "What were you doing"?, "Who were you with"?, "Why did the project take so long"?, etc.) without even voicing what she REALLY feels, which may be, "I am worried that you are *wanting* to spend evenings away from me, could it be true"? (Women are particularly good at this scenario!)  I've learned that if I try to get to the heart of the issue right from the start (which may take some detangling of my feelings first) it saves so much time and angst! It can be scary but it rarely, if ever, turns out to be what I feared.  -- Sheri Silver, Seattle, WA