Ephes. 4:15

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Ephes. 4:2-3

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. [3] Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

1.  To effectively challenge someone, you must have a spirit of humility.

§       Humility helps people listen with open ears

2.  Gentleness needs to be something we pursue

§       1 Tim 6:11-12  But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.   12 Fight the good fight of the faith.

§       1 Peter 3:14-17  But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."  15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.  

§       Gal 5:22-24  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

§       Phil 4:4-5 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

§       Col 3:12-14  Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

3.  Don't make mistake, "man of God is a pushover or wimpy person".

§      2 Cor 10:1-6 By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you-I, Paul, who am "timid" when face to face with you, but "bold" when away! 2 I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. 3 For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. 4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

§      God rebukes

Psalm 38:1 O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath.  For your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down upon me.  Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin. My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.

Rev 3:19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

elegcho (el-eng'-kho); of uncertain affinity; to confute, admonish:

§      Evangelists/Elders are commanded to rebuke

2 Tim 4:1-5  In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: 2 Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction. 3 For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

1 Tim 5:1  Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.

KJV - convict, convince, tell a fault, rebuke, reprove.

epiplesso (ep-ee-place'-so); from NT:1909 and NT:4141; to chastise, i.e. (with words) to upbraid:  KJV - rebuke.

elegcho (el-eng'-kho); of uncertain affinity; to confute, admonish:

Titus 1:8-2:1 He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.  For there are many rebellious people, mere talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision group. 11 They must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach-and that for the sake of dishonest gain. 12 Even one of their own prophets has said, "Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons." 13 This testimony is true. Therefore, rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith 14 and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the commands of those who reject the truth. 15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. 16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

Titus 2:15 These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you. [same as in Rev 3:19]

In 1 Tim 5:19-20, Paul directed Timothy, an evangelist, Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. 20 Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.

Same Greek word in both verses, to confute/admonish

elegcho (el-eng'-kho); of uncertain affinity; to confute, admonish:  KJV - convict, convince, tell a fault, rebuke, reprove.

2 Tim 4:2

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction.

epitimao (ep-ee-tee-mah'-o); from NT:1909 and NT:5091; to tax upon, i.e. censure or admonish; by implication, forbid:

It is significant to point out that even though it was Nathan who rebuked David, David, in Ps 38:1 said that it was the Lord that rebuked him

--this demonstrates that David understood that God uses his spokesmen to rebuke his children (OT: prophets & NT: evangelists & elders)

§    When brothers/sisters are commanded to confront one another, a different Greek word is emphasized.

§    There is only one time in the NT that this word epitimao is directed to be done by someone who is not an evangelist or elder--Lk 17:3  If your brother sins, rebuke him

§    There is another word that is much more commonly used:  The Greek word is noutheteo (noo-thet-eh'-o) translated admonish in most translations--to reprove gently

Another form of the word is:  nouthesia (noo-thes-ee'-ah) means calling attention to; mild rebuke or warning:

Col 3:15-17

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

1 Thess 5:13

Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you.

Rom 15:14

I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.  (NIV)

Some of you may be feeling like "I am not trained or competent to "disciple" or admonish another brother.  What does the scripture say?

o       We want every person to have a prayer partner / discipling partner.

o       We would like the family group leaders to make sure that everybody has somebody, with the Christians approval.

o       We want to encourage you to get together once each week.

Practical Applications:

1.  We all need to be humble and submissive toward OA

§    The ground is level at the cross

§    We need to listen to anyone who approaches us

§    And when we do approach to confront, we need to do so humbly, not self-righteously

2.  We need to grow in our gentleness

§    As men, we need to take this a lot more seriously

§    There are a lot of Scriptures admonishing us to pursue and grow in our gentleness

§    Gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit

§    It needs to characterize us!

3.  Remember growth comes from admonition

§    Encouragement s/b dominant characteristic of our lives & relationships

o       We are commanded to encourage OA daily

o       We are not commanded to rebuke or admonish OA daily

§    However, we do have responsibility to OA as brothers to admonish each other!

o       If we don't admonish OA, who will?

o       Admonitions:  are gentle challenges, gentle rebukes

When is the last time you were admonished by a brother?

Bro, you weren't very loving to your wife the other day

Bro, you appeared to me to be easily irritated with your children

Bro, you weren't very patient in your interaction with them

Bro, I didn't believe you treated me with respect in the way you talked to me

Bro, are you afraid to confront?

When is the last time you admonished a brother? 

We need to care about one another enough to admonish each other in our:

§    Purity

§    Patience

§    Gossip

§    Righteousness

§    Pride

§    Selfishness

§    If we don't, who will?

Admonitions cannot just come from the evangelists/elders

Consider Romans 15:14

I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.

The Bible says we are competent to admonish OA

§    Certainly, it needs to be done respectfully, lovingly,

§    You don't want to look back and realize HOW you said something damaged the relationship--what we say, is important, but how we say it is just as important.